Dating Fears After Divorce

As a spiritual counselor, I get many calls from people who are waiting for someone to change into their ideal love partner, soul mate or twin flame. I am always asked when this person will show up and why he/she has not already appeared. Many have been confronted with a similar person time after time. The other becomes an unappealing lesson or mirror of some kind instead of the ideal mate that they had hoped for at the beginning of the relationship. I am always surprised when I find that the person waiting has finally accepted another as who they are and no longer is in that frustrating limbo called The Love Waiting Game! They either release that person to allow another to come into their lives or move ahead with the same person with their eyes open. Awake to the fact that the other person is not able to fulfill ALL their needs. Ultimately, this is an unrealistic expectation of anyone else. We must grow to fulfill our own needs. Then, the love relationship remains fun!
We forget that a committed relationship and/or marriage is just the equivalent to moving from the minors dating into the fears divorce major leagues. We can think it is the prize we are seeking that will finally lead us to tranquility in partnership. That is rarely the case! Most often, the new set of skills required are intense. So intense, that our dating fears after divorce divorce rate, dating here fears in divorce the western world, is growing and our children suffer our mistakes now and later.
Sure, there are crazy situations that are worth struggling through and people worth waiting for out there. I am talking here of being in denial about ourselves and our own needs then pulling someone in who wakes us up to our real priorities in life. That could be seen as a great gift instead of another romantic failure. The object here is to really get the lesson or gift that will allow us to have a peaceful, stable and loving relationship.
Love relationship between two human beings is the speediest and most intense spiritual path there is in this life. It takes a brave and courageous person to really undertake it, understand it, and persevere to find the many gifts that unfold within it. Yet, first ask yourself if YOU are the grounded, stable, loving partner for another. We can only attract what we are ourselves!!!!
Say we want a grounded love relationship. Say we want a loving, gentle, kind, thoughtful, sexy love partner who is honest and stable. Let’s work on ourselves first. Let’s become all that to get all that in another. This could be the true meaning of loving yourself.

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